Getting To Yes
Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In
Roger Fisher and William Ury
Who should read: Anyone negotiating for their own needs and well-being.
Favorite quote:
“Agreement becomes much easier if both parties feel ownership of the ideas.”
“We tend to assume that because the other side’s positions are opposed to ours, their interests must also be opposed.”
Why I feel it is important to veterinary medicine: Contracts, work parameters and protecting well-being are very critical components of our profession, and we are wholly underprepared to protect our interests and safety in these situations.
I signed an awful contract once. It was for an amazing job. A job I didn’t envision needing or wanting to leave, so I didn’t give it much more thought than “I guess I’ll cross that bridge when I get there.” That was foolish. There was a non-compete in that contract that would have prevented me from working within the entire well-populated area of my state, and quite a ways into a neighboring state.
I watched a mentor leave within my tenure and have to wait an entire year before she could work in clinical practice in the state. This was after exploring all legal options to abolish the non-compete clause. While events transpired that allowed me freedom from my non-compete, I had reason to contemplate what it’s restrictions meant for my future and options long before I was free of it. I also looked around me and saw a treasure trove of individuals who were miserable and hated their job but stayed because their options were so limited otherwise. These people were making multiple lives miserable by remaining in these positions, and you could feel the toxicity with every breath in many cases.
It could have been a disastrous lesson in the importance of negotiating contracts. It was for many of my coworkers. I was fortunate enough to walk away with an indelible lesson in how critical it is to speak up and defend my needs and desires. In other words, negotiation isn’t simply self-interested. My ability to negotiate could impact everyone around me.
Last month we discussed Negotiation in Practice and how it is a vital tool for our advocacy and commitment to our patients. I started there, because I figure that’s an easier sell for most of our profession- caring for others is much easier than caring for ourselves. But I strongly feel that caring for ourselves is necessary to be able to care for others, and therefore applying the skills of negotiation in all areas of our job is critical. You can find the foundations and principles of negotiation at the link above. If you haven’t read that one, it’s worth pausing to understand some of the terminology and references to come.
To very briefly review keys to succeed in negotiation: Prioritize people over the problem, understand the interests/reasons of each party, get creative in options, and measure proposed solutions by agreed upon objective criteria.
In this article I want to focus on the nuances of negotiating and how to manage unprincipled negotiators- yes there will be some of those at some point in your profession! Consider it more defensive negotiation, whereas last month’s discussion fell more in line with neutral negotiation.
Power dynamics
It is natural to find one party has greater perceived power, and this can make the other party feel at a disadvantage. If a negotiation is occurring, you are not without some power- always remember that. If someone is taking the time to discuss resolution, you have something they need or want. It may simply be approval, keeping the peace or avoiding conflict, but if they didn’t place reasonably high value on that, they wouldn’t bother acknowledging your concerns. The authors of the book recommend before entering any negotiation, identify a Best Alternative to a Negotiated Treatment (BATNA). If negotiations are unsuccessful, this is your Plan B. It may be that you decline to sign a contract, you turn in your resignation, lead a strike or maybe you disengage from all work above and beyond the defined responsibilities in a contract. It is most important that you establish this for your own reference. There may be strategic times to communicate it to the other party. It ensures that you always have an alternative that you have thought about and accepted as reasonable, so that when/if you are faced with emotional pressure or bullying/ultimatums you have an acceptable exit strategy in place. It can also serve as a standard to measure negotiated terms against- are the terms you considering betterthan your BATNA? If not, you should probably decline them.
Emotional reactions
If you are negotiating for yourself, it is very natural to have an emotional tie to the outcome. Attacks or negative responses to your proposed changes may feel like a personal attack. You stand to lose negotiating power if you react defensively or emotionally. Instead, state your problem or concern and ask them how their proposed solution solves the problem. Or turn the situation around and ask them for advice on how they would handle the situation in your position. This may generate creative solutions you hadn’t thought of, while also generating some empathy or understanding on their part. Emotional reactions also tend to lead to pressured decision-making that can lead to regrets later.
If they are using emotional tactics in negotiation, redirect their attention back to the principle. Using your coworkers or patients as emotional leverage against you is a shortsighted tactic that will fail both of you in the end. Don’t engage or fall for this!
You can always suggest that the matter be tabled for a defined period of time to allow consideration by both parties and exploration of other options. This can buy you some time to navigate and understand your emotional state and reactions, to make better decisions for yourself.
Power Moves
Don’t reject, push back or defend ideas.
These actions tend to put others on the defensive or increase their aggressiveness in negotiation. Instead, ask questions. Invite criticism of your viewpoint. If you can remain curious, it helps you identify their underlying interests, gives you information to improve your ideas from their point of view and throws them off guard.
Pause.
After you ask questions, be silent. Silence is one of your best “weapons”. It makes people uncomfortable. Much more so than if you push back. It tends to give the impression of a stalemate, and gets people talking.
Ask questions.
If you can ask a question, instead of making a statement- do it!!! “Statements generate resistance, whereas questions generate answers.” Questions provide no target to strike at or attack, and they offer no criticism. Good question templates provided include:
“Please correct me if I’m wrong- I understand the situation as….”
“Could I ask you a few questions to see if I have my facts right?”
“Could you help me understand the principle behind this proposal?”
Appreciate the other party.
When you acknowledge what the other party has offered and brings to the table, you help alleviate the threat to their self-image, and establishes them as a generous party. Most humans want to live up to that expectation! Verbalize where they have been fair, to establish that as a standard for them to continue to live up to!
Words to watch.
Words have power, and can make or break your negotiations. Avoid the word “why”- Chris Voss (hostage negotiator that wrote Never Split the Difference) talks about how the word why tends to put people on the defensive. How many of us had a parent or partner yell “WHY?” in moments of frustration? Try to reframe a why question by using “what” or “how” instead. So rather than “Why does extending my work load without an increase in pay seem like a fair ask?”, rephrase it to “How does this proposal compensate me fairly for the added work hours that will be required of me with this work load?”
Avoid the word “but”: adding a but to your statement typically implies that the first statement is negated. Use “and” instead- this suggests that both halves of the sentence are true!
Mediation
When and where would you want a mediator in veterinarian medicine? A mediator is someone who should hold both party’s interests in mind as they moderate negotiations. They should not have the same emotional or financial investment in the outcome, so should be able to provide more objective feedback, and have a clearer distinction between the people and the problems involved. At this stage of veterinary medicine, involving a mediator is not a common situation. But as we find more corporatization of veterinarian medicine, it is likely to show up more. Corporate medicine comes with variable degrees of internal leadership and understanding of the realities of veterinary medicine. When engaging with this business entity, it is our responsibility to communicate those realities, as much as it is their responsibility to recognize the central focus of vet med- healing and helping animals and people. Standardized, uniform solutions are a common strategy, but may not be the best strategy for each situation. I personally would consider mediation strongly if a large number of employees find they need to negotiate changes in the work environment. Another means of utilizing an objective view point would be to have a lawyer, or trusted mentor review a contract or terms prior to committing. They may see problems that you may be inexperienced in or your excitement may blind you to. This individual won’t be involved directly in the negotiation process, but may give you valuable insight and guidance towards advocating for yourself better.
Wrapping it Up
If you find yourself in a position of negotiating your work commitment and expectations, my personal advice is to remember that no one knows your needs and desires better than you. If you don’t communicate them, it’s very unlikely they will be met if it’s not outlined up front. If you do communicate and clarify them up front, you have a better chance of avoiding pain and frustration down the line. If you have some uncertainties about what you need or want, don’t hesitate to ask for a time-limited contract, to be reviewed and renegotiated at a set time point (say 6 or 12 months down the line). If companies can expect a “trial period” for hires, they should be able to reciprocate the same. A beautiful example I’ve witnessed of creative solutions and exploring the best fit for both parties was to create a locum position for a prospective candidate. The candidate worked (at full pay, licensure and expenditures covered) for the practice for one month. Both parties were able to experience each other and evaluate if they felt they were appropriate partners before negotiating and entering a contract.
Right now, you are a hot commodity. There isn’t enough supply to meet the demand of veterinarians and support staff, so make sure you bring that intentional awareness to a strong position of self-advocacy. The more of us that do this, the more widely expected and spread it will become in our profession, and the greater impact we can have on our well-being as a profession.
Thank you Dr. Dean Scott for lending your talent to our Book Rounds topic!
Practical Implementation Exercises:
- If you are approaching a contract or administration about negotiating a change- what benefit does your proposed change bring to them? Make sure to highlight it in your proposal.
- Run your proposed change by a trusted confidant, and ask them to criticize and help you revise it, in order to make it as robust as possible.
- Make sure to arrange your discussion at a time that is best for you- when you have energy, emotional regulation and a clear head!
Additional resources:
William Ury’s Tedx Talk on finding common ground in negotiation.
Dr. Connie Stewart has a course for veterinarians that covers negotiation skills!